How did I break through?

I hired a life coach.

Through coaching, I uncovered and shifted the unconscious beliefs that were keeping me stuck:

• "You can't make mistakes - otherwise you're a failure." 
• "You're not worthy unless you are achieving." 
• "Until you prove yourself, you're nothing."
• "You need other people's approval to be worthy."

I began to believe new thoughts that empowered me:

• "All great things come through trial and error. No one gets it on the first try."
• "You don't need to prove your worthiness to anyone. You were born inherently worthy and with your own unique value."
• "There will be some people who will approve of you and some that won't. The most important person that has to approve of me is ME."
• "I have something to offer that MATTERS - and I'm going to share it, no matter what." 

Coaching was so impactful that I decided to become a coach and help other people like me. I earned my coaching certification and Master Coach certification with the Life Coach School, then did a deep dive into neuroscience and the nervous system to understand how anxiety, fear, and stress responses occur biologically and physiologically - so I could solve for both the nervous system and the brain root causes of anxiety and imposter syndrome.

What I've learned has helped me and dozens of my clients overcome anxiety and imposter syndrome. 

IMPOSTER SYNDROME NO LONGER RULES MY LIFE.

• I set goals for myself and take action because I now believe in my own capacity to achieve what I set out to do. 
• I no longer fear people in authority, nor fawn to avoid being criticized. 
• I speak directly about what's working and not working and have the emotional resilience to handle whatever other people say in return.
• I embrace mistakes and failures as signs that I'm growing and learning.
• When negative feelings like anger, fear, and anxiety arise, I don't resist them or push them down. I deal with them and keep going. 

My most surprising result? My marriage went from good to AMAZING.

I had no idea my imposter syndrome was impacting my marriage. Then I realized my unconscious fear of disappointing others (and of others disappointing me if they did not give me what I wanted) was causing me to NOT speak up for what I wanted in my marriage.

I went from feeling resentful and lashing out when I felt unheard to taking responsibility for communicating what I want and need - and what I'm willing to do or not do. We now have easy conversations where we figure out together what will work for each of us AND for both of us. No more fighting about in-laws, chores, or money!